I do my best every day (David Lowrie)

David Lowrie

I do my best every day. I really do. But some days I just let doubt and judgement and fear get the best of me. Today is not one of those days, but on Saturday evening, I was really down about my looks and posture.

"Stand up straight, David."
"Why do you have a hump on your back?"
"What's with your posture?"

I have a rare spinal condition, some call it a disease, called Sheuermann's Kyphosis. About 5% of the world's population suffers from this condition. It is uncomfortable, bordering on painful for me to "Stand up straight" for a prolonged amount of time.

Because of this, I have always told myself, "You'll never be good enough. You'll never have the "perfect body" that so many men in America have been indoctrinated to strive for. You can't stand up straight!"

On Saturday night, I was researching surgical options to straighten my back. Spinal surgery to alter my unique appearence with surgical screws in each spinal plate, grafting match stick size cuts of my ribs to my spine to fill in the gaps. Just to be more accepted in this society we live in. Just to never be asked in a judgemental way why I have a hump on my back or be told sternly to "Stand up straight!"

I came to my senses the next morning. I know I am amazing. I know I have done a complete body transformation over the past 2 years. I am healthier than I have ever been in my life and I am an inspiration to so many people. But I am human. I let opinions get the best of me sometimes. I ugly cry. I think the detrimental thoughts.

But then I check myself and remind myself of who I am. Where I am. The simple power of positivity. The love that is abundant in my life from all of my friends and family. The love that is abundant in myself for myself.

This isn't a pity post. This isn't me asking for support or money. This is me raw and uncut. This is me telling you what I struggle with in MY day to day life since I was 12. This is bringing awareness, not only to my rare spinal condition, but to every body's subtle or not so subtle conditions that they live with in their day to day lives.

This is where my poetry comes from. This is why I write to uplift myself and others daily to remind myself and everyone who reads my posts that LIFE IS WHAT WE MAKE IT. No matter the cards we're dealt. Smile because YOU'RE ALIVE.

David Lowrie